 |
Come on, I'll be your friend. |
 |
But... you are my friend. |
|
So why won't you tell me? |
|
Because you threatened to spellshatter him! |
|
Well, it just might work! |
|
Yeah, it might work at scattering his brains into a million pieces! |
|
Well... it might, at that, but it might turn him right-side-up again, too! |
|
Death is a very bad idea! |
|
That's what he said. |
|
Well, duh! |
 |
ALLEYOOP! |
 |
Aw, crap! |
|
What? |
|
Huh? Why aren't you upside down? |
|
Because... I'm more special than you? |
|
Ha ha, very funny. HarmlessHermit! |
|
*walks off* |
|
Damnit! |
|
I'll follow him. |
|
Yeah, you do that. I'll just hang here, upside-down, waiting for him to come back and do it again. |
| |
| |
 |
Come on, turn back on, darn you! |
 |
Have you considered the possibility that saying "turn back on, darn you" over and over again won't actually make it turn back on? |
|
No, now shut up and do something useful. |
 |
Like what? Leave the door unlocked again? |
|
One time, damn you! One time! |
|
One time this week, you mean. |
|
Oh, for fu-- |
|
Ah! Look behind you, a three-headed monkey! |
|
What? Where? |
|
Oh come on, like I'm going to fall for the oldest trick in the book. |
|
It is not the oldest trick in the book! |
|
Is too! |
|
Prove it, then. |
|
Well, it just so happens that I have a copy of... wait, oh, damnit! He's gone! |
|
You're right, I don't see a three-headed monkey anywhere. |
|
Huh? Oh, for the love of... |
| |
| |
 |
So I say to the guy, "It's not a claw, it's a syringe!" |
 |
Ha! Priceless. |
 |
I... don't get it. |
 |
Neither do I. What does a syringe have to do with... anything in that joke? |
 |
For that matter, where did the claw come from? Or... the claw that was actually a syringe. How do you mistake a syringe for a claw? |
|
The... the teddy bear. |
|
And the brick. |
|
What brick? |
|
The brick with a syringe tied to it. |
|
But... that was two jokes ago. |
|
I know! That's the joke! |
|
But... it doesn't make any sense. |
|
*Sigh* You're all hopeless. |
 |
Never say hopeless! |
|
Gah! Where did you come from? |
|
From back there. |
|
Back where? |
|
Back hair! Ha ha ha! |
|
...I don't get it. |
|
Neither did I. |
|
Nor I. |
|
Nor I. |
|
I don't even know what's going on! |
|
Oh well, not important. |
|
So why are you here? Selling more Fine Leather Comics? |
|
No. |
|
Just regular comics? |
|
No. |
|
Oh, for the love of crap. Just tell us what you're doing here! |
|
Love of crap? Who the hell wants the love of crap? |
|
I don't know, it's just an expression. |
|
Just an expression? I think not, bucko! |
|
ALLEYOOP! |
|
...Huh? |
|
What? |
|
That's odd. |
|
What's odd? |
|
Well, first off, HarmlessHermit walking around saying "Alleyoop!" for no apparent reason. |
|
Secondly, we're not all upside-down. |
|
Yeah, that too. |
|
...Should we be? |
|
HarmlessHermit's special ability was to turn people upsidedown by saying "Alleyoop!" |
|
So why didn't we turn upside-down? |
|
That is a very good question. |
|
*walks off* |
|
*huff, huff* Did any of you just see HarmlessHermit? |
|
Yeah, he just went that way. |
|
Oh crap! *books it* |
|
...What the hell was that about? |
|
Quick, follow that Zombie! |
| |
| |
 |
So I say to the guy, "It's not a claw, it's a syringe!" |
 |
But... that doesn't make any sense. |
|
Eh? Sure it does. |
|
The brick was thrown into the air, right? Shouldn't it have re-appeared in a joke either on an airplane or landing on someone's head? |
|
Um... |
|
For that matter, why did you affix a syringe to it at all? What did that have to do with anything? |
|
The... teddy bear? |
|
But the teddy bear was just a red herring. The voodoo doll was in the shopping bag. |
|
...Um. |
|
*walks by* |
|
Was that... |
|
HarmlessHermit being followed by a mob of forumers? Why yes, I think it was. |
|
Let's go after them! |
|
Sounds like a plan. |
| |
| |
 |
Got you again, did he? |
|
Yup. Zombie ran after him. |
|
She probably lost track of him. |
|
What makes you say that? |
|
Well, we lost track of him after he flipped us. |
|
So? |
|
So maybe there's some kind of cosmic energy at work preventing us from following him. |
|
Uh... |
|
If we even get the idea of following him, it tries to discourage us. |
|
Idiota? |
|
And if we do manage to start following him, it makes sure we lose him quickly. |
|
Idiota! |
|
What? |
|
Look! |
| |
|
AFTER THAT HERMIT! |
| |
|
...You think we should follow them? |
|
Absolutely. |
| |
| |
|
Oh hey, we've come full-circle. |
|
How so? |
|
Hey. |
|
Yo. |
|
So, why are you two upside-down? |
|
What do you mean? HarmlessHermit flipped us with his "Alleyoop!" thing. |
|
But... he did it to all of us, as well. |
|
Actually, not me or Grim. |
|
Okay, most of us. Happy? |
|
I don't really care one way or the other. |
|
...AGH. |
|
The point is, we didn't turn upside-down. |
|
But... that doesn't make any sense. |
|
Actually... |
|
What? |
|
When HarmlessHermit demonstrated his ability, who talked before he reversed it? |
|
You and me. |
|
And nobody else. |
|
...Oh my god. |
|
Holy shit. |
|
Well, that is quite interesting. But would you care to explain to the rest of the class? |
|
HarmlessHermit is from the archives. He was able to flip the two people he did in the past... because he's from the archives. |
|
Holy shit! |
|
That's what I said! |
|
I know! |
|
So, what does this mean? |
|
Something very strange is going on. |
|
ALLEYOOP! |
|
About goddamn time! |
 |
I concur! |
|
Level 99 Banishment, you archival annoyance! |
|
*poof* |
|
Nice alliteration. |
|
Thank you. |
|
So, we have HarmlessHermit walking out of the archives and wreaking havoc... on exactly two people. What does this mean? |
|
That the archives have gone kaput? |
|
Wouldn't that just delete everything inside, not just let it out? |
|
Well, if everything came out, why have we just seen HarmlessHermit? |
|
So, until further notice, we assume only HarmlessHermit was let out. What does that mean? |
|
Well, I walked into the archives and ran into him. Maybe he was let out because of my encountering him? |
|
So if anyone goes into the archives, they risk letting things out? |
|
...MageKing, you said you added a few lines to the "DO NOT ENTER" warning. Did you, perhaps, also add a barricade? |
|
...No, but I agree it would be a good idea. |
|
To the archives! |
| |
| |
|
Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Come, my archival minions! Walk the forums! |
 |
Why? |
|
Eh? |
|
Why should we? |
|
Because I command you. |
 |
Because it's fun? |
|
I suppose I can go for that one. |
 |
Yes... sounds like fun. |
 |
Will we get paid for this? |
|
Why would you get paid? |
|
Figures. This is such a ripoff. |
| |
|
What in the inferno of Hell is going on here? |
|
Unless my eyes decieve me, the PixelMedia logo is letting a bunch of archives loose. |
|
Why? |
|
Hey, I don't know why my eyes would decieve me. Why don't you ask them? |
|
*sigh* |
|
Is this a problem? |
|
How are archives walking the forum not a problem? |
|
MageKing banished HarmlessHermit fairly easily. |
|
Well, that was only one archive, and maybe he can only use that spell once a day. |
|
No, Idiota's quite right. I don't see this being a problem. |
|
Well, what are you waiting for? |
|
Nothing, I guess. CHARGE! |
| |
|
What the...? Oh, crap! |
|
Mystical energies, gather! Righteous fury, rage! Pink bunny slippers, slip! LEVEL 999 FLASHFREEZE! |
|
Shit! |
|
Who are you and what are you doing? |
|
I'm not talking. |
|
Why not? |
|
Because you froze my mouth! |
|
But... we can hear you. |
|
Can you? |
|
Yes, we can. |
|
But... you froze my mouth! |
|
What mouth? You're a logo! |
|
...Oh, right. I suppose I don't have a mouth. |
|
We can all see you don't have a mouth. |
|
Yes, yes, no need to rub it in. |
|
So answer the question. |
|
I'm still not talking. |
|
*rolls his eyes* And why not? |
|
Because I have no incentive to. |
|
And because his archives are sneaking up behind us. |
|
Darn. |
|
Curse you! |
|
I think I can deal with this easily enough. Level 99 Banishment! |
|
*poof* |
|
Level 99 Banishment! |
|
*poof* |
|
Level 99-- |
|
Do you really have to say it every time? |
|
Well, it's a higher level than I can cast without saying, but I don't want to drop the level for fear it might not work. |
|
Can't you, like, use an area-of-effect banishment spell? |
|
Nope. |
|
*Sigh* Carry on, then. |
|
Level 99 Banishment! |
|
*poof* |
|
Level 99 Banishment! |
|
I never saw France! *poof* |
|
I'll put a threadlock on the archive door. |
|
So, my little PixelMedia logo friend, what are you up to? |
|
Nothing, now, you've banished all my archives, haven't you? |
|
I don't know... have I? |
|
...Yes, you have. |
|
Well, then, you are correct, he has banished all your archives. |
|
Yes, yes I got that. Thank you. |
|
You are welcome. |
|
Stop that! |
|
Stop what? |
|
Aaagh! |
|
If you talk, it will stop. |
|
Talk about what? |
|
What the hell were you trying to do? |
|
I still don't see an incentive to stop. |
|
Oh really? |
|
Yeah, really. |
|
No way. |
|
Yes way. |
|
Laugh out loud. |
|
Agh! You're driving me insane! |
|
Hmm. I guess that didn't work so well after all. Well, I suppose we'll just have to resort to pain. |
|
Wait, you can do that? |
|
What do you think, should we make it sharp pulses of pain, or a low constant pain? |
|
Er... |
|
Well, a low, constant pain has such a wonderful tendency to induce insanity. |
|
Uh... |
|
On the other hand, sharp pulses of pain -- especially at random intervals -- prevent acclimation. |
|
Guys? |
|
Well, both have merits, so why not combine them into constant pain that randomly increases? |
|
I give up! |
|
I thought you might. |
|
...You guys are terrifying. |
|
Don't worry, kid-- |
|
--we do this every day. Right. I got it. I think I'm going to go throw up now. |
|
So, for the last time, what the hell were you trying to do? |
|
To raise the archives and make them invade the forums. |
|
Yes, we saw that already. |
|
And undid it. |
|
So why did you do it? |
|
For the syringe! Ha ha ha! |
|
Ha! |
|
Good one! |
|
...I don't get it. |
|
Don't worry, it really wasn't that funny. |
|
I'm hurt. |
|
You still haven't answered the question. |
|
What question? |
|
You know what question! Don't make me hurt you! |
|
To cause the deaths of MageKing17, Grim Reaper, Idiota, Amarth, ZeXLR8er, Quanrian, and Ville. |
|
Wait, what? |
|
Oh crap! |
| |
| |
|
Did you hear something? |
|
Again with the hearing of things! |
|
No, I'm serious, I thought I heard something. |
|
All I hear is you complaining about Morrowind not working. And me complaining about you playing Morrowind instead of working. |
|
It sounded like a giddy cackle. |
|
I really don't hear it. |
| |
 |
Hehehehehe... Heeheeheehee... MWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! |
| |
MOST DEFINITELY
NOT THE END |
Tune in next time, for the next thrilling chapter in the contradictory TPoD-with-a-plot! |
| |
| |
| |
|
But MageKing, that wasn't nearly as funny as TPoD8! |
|
"But MageKing," I hear you saying, "that wasn't nearly as funny as TPoD8!" |
|
That's because I just said it. |
|
I was talking outside the fourth wall. |
|
But the fourth wall is already in tatters at best, and more likely demolished. |
|
Perhaps, but I can cling to those tatters if I want! |
|
This segment isn't helping. |
|
No, probably not. But still, I feel a need to respond! |
|
Well, I'm waiting. |
|
Quite simply, adding a plot makes it difficult, if not impossible, to write anything "unforced", because, by neccessity, I need to force "the plot". |
|
So you're saying that it wasn't funny because you were constrained by a plot? |
|
I didn't say it wasn't funny. |
|
Okay, you're saying it wasn't as funny as TPoD8 because you were constrained by a plot? |
|
More or less. |
|
What a fucking copout. |
|
Meh, call it what you will. |
|
Why don't you just rewrite it, but funnier? |
|
And how do you suggest I do that? |
|
Write it, ignore plot, and see what happens. |
|
So... write a pre-9-TPoD. |
|
Yes. |
|
But people say they want plot. |
|
So add the plot in afterwards. With luck, you'll have funny jokes to draw upon. |
|
...Interesting idea, Crazy-in-my-head. |
|
Yes, you are crazy in the head. |
|
Ha. Ha. Ha. I'm just cracking up. Yes. It's. So. Funny. |
|
Shut up and write. |
|
Yes, sir. |
| |
| |
| |
| |
|
*Sigh* I suppose that works. |
| |
| |
|
Cake, huh? |
|
Yeah, it was the wierdest thing. It just dropped right down out of the sky. |
|
And it was delicious. |
|
You got the cake? |
|
Yeah, I gave it to him. Nobody else seemed to be doing anything with it. |
|
And it was delicious. |
|
You said that already. |
|
I know. But It was delicious. |
| |
| |
|
You're treading thin ice. |
|
It'll get better, I swear. |
| |
| |
|
Moving right along, |
| |
| |
|
What kind of change of subject is that? |
|
Quiet! |
| |
| |
|
Moving right along, has anybody seen Ville or Quanrian? |
| |
| |
|
Oh come on! |
|
Quiet! |
| |
| |
|
Not since Ville handed me Morrowind and said "Fix it!" |
|
Why did he give it to you? |
|
I'm not sure. Not like I know how to fix it. |
|
Does anyone? |
|
If anyone, I figured it would be you, Mage. Well, you or Marevix. You knew that connecting Morrowind (in cyberspace) to the forums (in cyberspace) would allow items from one to pass into the other. |
|
Yeah, well, it was actually Marevix's idea. I just figured out what he did after the fact. |
|
And Marevix is lost to the archives. |
|
Interesting metaphor. |
|
Not so metaphorical, considering. |
|
Speaking of, how did you get right-side-up-again, Idiota? |
|
Er... |
| |
| |
|
Whoops. |
|
You forgot not to include plot, didn't you? |
|
Perhaps. |
|
*Sigh* |
|
Now now, I'll fix it. |
| |
| |
|
MageKing and I tracked down HarmlessHermit and stuck him back in the archives. |
|
But if you were together, wouldn't MageKing have been turned upside-down when you were turned right-side-up? |
|
Er... |
| |
| |
|
"I'll fix it," he says, then walks right into another plot-related problem. |
|
Nono, I can fix this too. |
| |
| |
|
Yeah, that happened... at first. Then I got the bright idea of "moving away" the next time HarmlessHermit did his thing. |
|
Makes sense. |
| |
| |
|
Oh, come on. |
|
Stop interrupting! |
| |
| |
|
So we've got a broken copy of Morrowind, but at least HarmlessHermit's back in the archives. |
|
How do you know he won't get out again? |
|
Barricaded the door. |
|
But what if we want to walk the archives some time? |
|
It's really not worth the trouble. |
|
Trust us on that one. |
|
So where is everybody else? |
|
Well, Zombie, Anon, and Crazy were talking about exploring cyberspace, and I assume Ville and Quanrian are back in their Top Secret Lab of Doom(tm). |
|
Top Secret Project Workshop of Doom(tm). |
|
Whatever. |
|
So, anyone know where Anarion, E_net4, Neogangster, Pete, Redemption, Shingo, Speedblade, Varsi, or ZeXLR8er are? |
| |
| |
|
Has Speedblade ever even been in a TPoD? |
|
Um... sure? Possibly? |
|
And I know Varsi hasn't been in one. |
|
Hey, I'm just making sure of my cast, okay? |
|
How sure can you possibly be? I doubt you checked every forum account to see if they were active in the past couple months. |
|
Okay, so I'm not very sure at all! |
|
And where did redemption come from? |
|
I saw his avatar in the TPoD folder, okay? Can we move on, please? |
| |
| |
|
Nice alphabetizing. |
|
Thank you. |
|
Also, no, not a clue. |
|
Dang. |
|
Maybe Zombie, Anon, and Crazy ran into them? |
|
Maybe. We could go after them and find out. |
|
Does anyone know which way they went? |
|
Um... thataway? |
|
How very specific. |
| |
| |
|
I'm going to have to stop you right there. |
|
Why? |
|
You have no idea who any of these people are! |
|
That's not true! |
|
Oh really? I saw you changing names on lines just so certain people could get more of them! |
|
That... that is true. |
|
Face it, Thaif was right. None of these characters has an individual personality... except perhaps you, Dorten, Grim Reaper, and Myself. Everyone else is pretty much interchangeable. While that may work somewhat, it really means that you may as well not bother with a cast. After all, I decided I could do without one. |
|
Hmm, a point. So if I were to ensure each character had a unique personality, it would make sure they're identifiable as characters. |
|
Exactly. |
|
How about this? |
|
...That works. Wait, why does Anarion have no personality? |
|
He only said one line in TPoD5, and it was just to say he didn't have any special abilities. Everything he's said on the forums over the past few months has been incredibly minimal. It could've been said by anyone. He has no personality. |
|
Isn't that kind of harsh? |
|
Just look at his posts! |
|
Huh. I guess you're right. |
|
Also, when did we start speaking in links? |
|
I don't know. |
|
Lets try this one more time. |
| |
| |
| |
| |
