That was almost too easy.
	Gah! Would you stop using that form around me? It's annoying as hell.
	Sorry. I'm none too fond of it, myself, but it serves its purpose.
	It certainly does, at that. What was that trick with the silhouette?
	Holographic projection. Nobody ever sees it coming, for some reason.
	Huh. How about that. Anyway, this handles our problem nicely.
	Yes; most of them killed each other, and Murska is bottled up in the lab. I've sealed the doors and set the equipment to obliterate itself so he can't use it to escape somehow.
	Excellent. Now all that remains is Ville and Quanrian.

The Testing Page of DOOM! 12

The Aftermath

	This is a disaster! A complete fucking disaster!
	Calm down! Maybe... maybe we can conduct one more search of MageKing's Datablock Accelerator--
	No! Don't you get it? Something went very wrong! If nothing else, Mage should have teleported back by now, no matter what happened in that room! We can't even find a hint of where they've gone, and... and... agh! Complete fucking disaster!
	Look, I've talked with Ville, and--
	You saw what happened to the forum! He'll have his hands full for a month, if not more!
	Well, we have to do something! Excuse me for wanting to be slightly more effective than wailing, "Oh noes! What'll we do?" for five hours straight!
	Fuck you! I'm going to get everyone with combat abilities and get ready for the inevitable shitstorm that's about to descend on Forum Block. You... go twiddle your thumbs, or whatever the fuck you're doing.
	Damn it, Zombie! ...Zombie! ...Damn, she just left without even turning around...
	Face it, there's not a lot we can do.
	We can damned well organize another search party. A bigger one, this time.
	Look, of everyone who didn't attend MageKing's little experiment, fewer than a dozen are really active. You're not going to have a lot of luck trying to get people to go looking again, especially not after the radiation levels left at the Datablock Accelerator. We just have to accept the fact that they're--
	They are not dead. It doesn't make any sense, for one thing. For another--
	There was blood on the walls, Idiota!
	And I can't explain that any more than you can!
	Just accept that this virtual world doesn't work the way we thought it did, and help Zombie. I don't think what happened at the Accelerator was an accident any more than you do, and whoever caused that isn't going to stop with twelve of us, especially not after taking out two of the most powerful users we know.
	...
	And whether or not you want to admit it, Zombie was right. MageKing would have teleported back by now... if he could. And if he can't, then--
	I know. I know! I just... I can't believe...
	Yeah... it's a clusterfuck, all right.
	Holy fucking shit!
	You said that already.
	I know, but... holy fucking shit! I had no idea this was even possible!
	Random death on this scale doesn't seem like it should be possible in this world, no.
	But the radiation... the blood...!
	There were also no corpses... but yeah, it seems unlikely that they just ran off for a radioactive tea party with invitations signed in blood.
	We... we have to do something!
	Have you seen the forum? You have bigger fish to fry, for the moment!
	But... but a dozen members, just gone like that...
	Tell you what; I'll look into it. You just... deal with the forum for now. Once that's stabilized, then you can worry about other things.
	...Right. You're right. I... thanks.
	No problem. Now I need to find Idiota before he goes off on his own...
	No combat skills at all?
	I didn't say that.
	But no actual experience, right?
	...More or less.
	Fan-fucking-tastic. I'll have a handful of meatshields, an attack nobody wants me to use, and a very reluctant forumancer to hold off an enemy with unknown strength and numbers that may or may not have slaughtered twelve members without leaving any evidence but heightened radiation levels and some blood that should. Not. Exist. In. A. Virtual. World!
	Don't you think this is a bit premature?
	Agh! Oh, uh, hi. I didn't see you, there. No, I don't think this is premature. I can feel it; something big is coming... and I'm almost certain it's related to Arcade and Eternal. Or the people pretending to be Arcade and Eternal. Or whoever the hell they are. The point is, they survived MageKing's most powerful spell and then disappeared without a trace. Then, out of the blue, twelve people just up and vanish, whilst leaving behind copious quantities of blood in a virtual world that, as far as everybody knew, didn't have blood... yeah, something's definitely coming, and I want to be ready for it.
	Hmm... well, I suppose I can't argue with anything specific in what you've just said, but... why are you assuming MageKing and the others are dead?
	Well, because I've seen MageKing's magical powers in action. If he were alive, he would have teleported back by now.
	Really? You can't think of any situation in which he would be unable to teleport while still being alive?
	...Well, there was that one time when we gave our powers to the Imposter, but Slyvena's dead. I don't see how... ooooOH!
	...Yes?
	...Uh, I think... I think I may have just gotten an idea.
	Why did you drag me back to the Accelerator?
	I was talking with Anne when I had an idea.
	What idea?
	Remember when we gave our powers to the Imposter?
	*Shudder* I try not to.
	Well, suppose someone knew about that incident and tried to artificially recreate it?
	...Huh? You've lost me.
	I think MageKing's powers--and Grim's powers--were taken from them by whoever took them away from here.
	...Is that even possible?
	It must be! If powers can be transferred, then someone should be able to figure out how to steal them, at least temporarily.
	So where did their powers go?
	I think... I think it's the radiation we detected.
	What?!?
	No, hear me out.
	I heard you plenty well the first time! You are not getting me to think bathing myself in that radioactive cesspool is a good idea!
	That wasn't my idea.
	...Oh?
	I'm going to blow the Accelerator up.
	You want to blow it up?!?
	Yup! But not ZeXLR8er, who I have no intention of blowing up... yet.
	Did you mumble something?
	Nope!
	Well, I don't think it's the greatest idea I've ever--
	Too late! Happy Love Time Destruction Beam!
	OH HOLY FUUU--
	*KABLOOEY*
DATABLOCK ACCELERATOR	*Is obliterated*
	--UUUUCK! That was incredibly dangerous!
	Yeah, yeah, whatever. Let's see if Mage has teleported back n--
	WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU TWO JUST DO?!?
	--ow. Hi, Quanrian.
	Don't "Hi, Quanrian" me! What the fuck was that?!?
	That was the Happy Love--
	Not the stupid technique, Idiota! I couldn't care less what it's called! You blew up the Datablock Accelerator!
	Well, actually, Zombie--
	I WAS TALKING TO ZOMBIE! NOW SHUT UP, BEFORE I THROW YOU IN THE ARCHIVES!
	...Eep!
	Now, Quanrian--
	I was going to try to use that to find Mage and the others, but why the fuck not blow it up, instead?!? That makes PERFECT FUCKING SENSE!
	If you'd just--
	NO. You will be shutting up, and you will be shutting up now. I do not care what the hell you have to say. You are going to go right the hell back to the Forum Block and stay there until I give you permission to so much as twitch. Understood?
	*Nods nervously*
	Now go!
	I think that--
	And you will be going with her!
	...Yes, sir.
	...Christ, this place has gone to hell in a handbasket...
	Aha! Take that, you spambot scum...!
	Ah, dear old Ville. We need to talk.
	Gah! Where did you come from?
	Oh nowhere... just your worst nightmares!
	AAAUGH!
	Did you hear that?
	Hear what?
	...I don't know.
	Quanrian wasn't here.
	I noticed.
	This could be problematical.
	How? It's not like he can do anything Ville can't.
	It's all just a pile of useless wreckage, now! How am I supposed to recover anything useful from this... this... whoa, why are my arms tingling?
	Besides, with Ville gone, he should be even weaker than he was before.
	WHY CAN I SUDDENLY SEE DEAD PEOPLE?!? Also, why do I have a sudden urge to carry a staff? ...Wait, how come I know the incantations for seven hundred different spells? WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!?
	You're right; he probably doesn't even know we're here.
	Wait, Arcade and Eternal are here? How do I know that!?
	Yes, let's catch him by surprise, and--
	WHATTHEFUCKAREYOUDOINGHERE HOWDIDIKNOWYOUWEREHERE WOWISUDDENLYHAVEALOTOFENERGY!
	...Uh, what?
	KILLQUICK STABBYBITS! LEVEL 99 FORUM SHARDS!
	Holy shit! Is the room deforming to kill us?
	Not just the room... the whole damned forum! All of Forum Block just animated!
	Whoa! I didn't know we could have earthquakes!
	Neither did I!
	Come on, let's--
	LEVEL 999 THREAD BARRIER!
	--Ow! Fuck, we can't leave!
	Doesn't matter, just kill him now!
	HA! LIKE YOU COULD! LEVEL 9999 THREADSHATTER!
	Level WHAT?!?
	FUCK!
	*Blows "Eternal" into tiny pieces*
	Holy fucking shit! Holy fucking shit! How did you do that? Wait! I don't want to know! I'm getting the fuck out of--
	Oh NO YOU ARE NOT! RAAAAAAAARGH!
	AAAUGH!
	*Huff* *Huff* ...Uh. What did I just do?
	X_X
	X_X
	X_X
	Oh crap! Ville! Hang on, why can I... uh... hang on...
	Quanrian! What's going... on... oh, oh my...
	RISE ONCE MORE, VILLE MÖNKKÖNEN!
	*GASP* ...How... what... who... ow. My head hurts like... like... like something that hurts a fuck of a lot.
	Holy crap! You can do that?
	Apparently I can now.
	What's all the--whoa! What's with the obliterated corpses? And why is Ville wheezing really heavily?
	I think he was just brought back to life.
	I WOULD HAVE WORDS WITH YOU, ARCADE!
	HHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOWWWW... HOW CAN YOU CALL ME BY THAT NAME? THAT IS NOT MY NAME!
	SILENCE! TELL ME WHAT YOU HAVE DONE WITH OUR MEMBERS!
	I... NO! I DO NOT WISH TO--NO! I--AAAGH! THEY'RE IN A FACILITY APPROXIMATELY SEVENTEEN KILOMETERS NORTH-BY-NORTH-WEST FROM HERE... OR THEIR CORPSES ARE.
	BACK TO THE VOID WITH YOU!
	AAAAAAAUGH!
	...Quanrian, what the fuck is going on?
	I'll tell you when it starts making sense. Come on, we may need to hurry! LEVEL 999 FORUMPORT!
	...Whoa! That didn't feel like one of MageKing's teleports at all!
	That's because it wasn't... not entirely.
	What does that mean?
	No idea. Let's mov-- oh.
	"Oh" indeed.
	It seems haste wasn't particularly neccessary.
	What? What's... oh. That... is a lot of blood.
	A great deal more than was at the Datablock Accelerator, too.
	I think... I think those ashes used to be people, too.
	*Sigh* Let me just... draw in a little more energy...
	Uh... from where, exactly? Because, uh, I like my energy right where it--
	ARISE! ARISE ALL WHO HAVE BEEN MURDERED BY THAT COWARD! ARISE!
	*Cough cough* Whoa! Being reconstituted after a disintegration is a very unique experience.
	Mage!
	Oh god, my spine.
	Amarth!
	Yeah, nice to see you too... ow.
	Oh, that is definitely wierd.
	Tell me about it.
	...Yeah, says the one who gouged out his own eyes.
	...What the fuck happened here?
	Good question. I was dead for most of it.
	That just makes me more confused!
	Wow, let's never do that again.
	I don't know, it was kind of fun--
	NO. No it was not.
	If anyone cares--
	We don't.
	--I think it sucked, too.
	Is there some kind of prize for coming back from the dead?
	No. Now who the fuck stole my powers?!?
	Technically, the pair who kidnapped you... although yes, I am currently using them.
	Wait, hang on, where's Murska?
	Um... I don't remember anything after he killed me.
	Seriously, what the fuck happened here?!?
	I sense he's currently in the central room.
	You "sense"?
	I would really like those powers back soon...
	I think it'll need to wait until after we find Murska.
	But the inner doors don't op--
	Level 99 Thread Unlock!
INNER DOOR	*swings open*
	--en. Right. I'll just... feel completely useless. Thanks a lot.
	AHAHAHA, AT LAST! I WILL DESTROY YOU ALL!
	Um... was he like that when he went in?
	YES. Yes he WAS.
	...Right. Um, Quanrian?
	Yes, this will be tricky, but... LEVEL 9999 CLEANSING!
	Wait, level what?!?
	Level what?!?
	I concur! Level what?!?
	Agh! I... I... uh, where am I? And why are my clothes half-ripped-off?
	Um... how long have you been in there?
	I have no idea.
	Um... a lot longer than I thought. Uh... looks like some time travel may possibly have been involved in your kidnapping.
	What?!
	Unless I have no idea how to use these powers...
	...which a totally-showing-off level 9999 spell seems to disprove...
	...he's been in there for ten months.
	...Holy crap.
	...Indeed.
	That... that is a very long time.
	Without food? How am I still alive?
	Um... while a good question, I don't think it would have mattered.
	Why--? Oh, uh... hi, Vacuus.
	YES, HI. HOW ARE YOU DOING. YOU BACKSTABBING SON OF A--
	No fighting! It wasn't entirely his fault.
	...Maybe.
	Look, I'm sorry, okay? Happy?
	...No.
	Agh, look, can we please all get out of here? Those two guys pretending to be Arcade and Eternal are dead--
	They are!? ...What happened while we were dead?
	Bit of a long story. Anyway, I just want to go home and sleep for the next... um... century. Probably won't get quite that much sleep, but I can try.
	But first, you will give me my powers back.
	...Er, yes. That first.
	Grmbl... being sent home while he looks for Mage and the others...
	Hey, it's probably for the best. He looked pretty mad when you blew up the Accelerator.
	...Yeah, I guess. It's just... I thought that with it destroyed, Mage's power would return and he'd suddenly appear in front of us, you know? I guess... I guess I was just fooling myself.
	Well, we're almost back to the Forum Block, so we can still prepare for that inevitable atta--
	Oh hey, guys!
	--aaaaaaaAAAAAAGH! What the hell?!?
	It worked?!?
	What worked?
	Your powers returned!
	Well, yeah, of course Quan gave 'em back.
	...Wait, what?
	Why did MageKing suddenly go for a walk?
	*Shrugs* He said a scouting spell spotted Idiota and Zombie and he wanted to say hi.
	Idiota and... oh! I totally forgot. They didn't come back yet?
	Back?
	QUANRIAN, YOU SON OF A BITCH!
	...Yes, back. Excuse me, I need to... do stuff.
	...Riiight. I'd run fast, if I were you.
	...Good idea! HOLY FUCKING SHIT! *bolts*
THE END	And so, in the end, normality (or what passes for it in the Forum Block) returned. Everybody got to come back from the dead, except for those two guys (whoever the hell they were) who stayed dead, and everybody lived happily ever...
WAIT	Where did Vacuus's lightsaber go?
	Damn! I forgot to pick it up!
OH WELL