The Testing Page of DOOM! 9

Can Somebody Say Genre Shift?

	It's genre-shiftastic!
	What is this Englishinarial nonsense?
	Look at that! I said I'd written it down for further use, and I used it! Checkov's Gun, anyone?
	Just answer the question.
	We're going through a genre shift.
	Meaning?
	We're going to stop being a random, ass-pulled "talking heads" affair and start having a plot.
	TPoD? A plot? What is this contradiction in terms?
	Well, I've always liked to think of myself as a writer, but I've never really thought of TPoD seriously enough to bring any of that skill to work on it.
	I thought you just shut your brain off to write a TPoD.
	That was certainly part of it. Another part was that I didn't think I could use my normal writing skill on it due to the entirely dialogue-based medium preventing me from writing descriptions unless I had a specific character describe something. Instead of taking this as a challenge, I used it as an excuse for shoddy writing.
	Some people thought it was funny.
	Well, sure, even shoddy writing can be funny. I've laughed at jokes I'd made in TPoDs myself now and then. That doesn't make it less than shoddy.
	If you say so.
	I do. Now, without further ado, we're going to put the tatters of the fourth wall back in place and begin the show.
THE METAPHORICAL CURTAIN	*Rises*
	Well well, it's a beautiful day for Top Secret Projects of Doom(tm)! Time to get these code-writing hands cracking.
	*opens*
	That doesn't look like coding. At all.
	Ssh. It's research.
	While they're distracted, I'm sure nobody will notice if I just take one little thing...
	What was that sound?
	What sound?
	I thought I heard something.
	Besides the sound of your character dying?
	Wha--? Oh, crud. Stupid mudcrabs.
	MageKing? What are you doing?
	Hmm? Oh, hi Idiota. HarmlessHermit did his allyoop thing on me, I can't seem to find the right spell to undo it.
	HarmlessHermit? Where did you run into him?
	The forum archives.
	*Shudder* Why would you do such a thing?
	*Shrug* It seemed like a good idea at the time. I added about five lines to the "DO NOT ENTER" warning to emphasize the point.
	Why didn't you stick around long enough for him to undo the effect?
	He's the one that didn't stick around. He just up and left me like this.
	What? I didn't think archives could do that.
	Neither did I, but sitting around wondering about it isn't going to undo the effect any faster.
	Maybe, but this sounds ominous. I mean, the whole point of archives is their predictability... how could an archive of HarmlessHermit have done something like that?
	Um... while that's actually a good point, I don't see how it'll help me get right-side-up any faster.
	Have you tried dispel?
	Of course. It was the first thing I tried.
	How about spellshatter?
	I want to turn right-side-up, not inside-out.
	You're saying you can't take a simple spellshatter?
	How about I use it on you first, to demonstrate my point?
	On second thought, let's table the idea of a spellshatter.
	That's what I thought you'd say.
	What is going on here?
	You want the short version or the long version?
	I'd prefer the sane version.
	No such luck here.
	In that case, I'm just going to keep walking.
	Probably a good idea.
	Hmm... maybe if I--
	ALLYOOP!
	What the...? Hey, I'm right-side-up again!
	Maybe you are... what the hell is this? HarmlessHermit?
	*walks off*
	What in the hell?
	That's exactly what he did to me.
	Except we aren't in the archives.
	Which is very, very worrying.
	To say the least.
	Hee hee. Level 27 already.
	I can't believe you've been playing this instead of working on Top Secret Projects of Doom(tm).
	*glares*
	What the-- did that game just glare at me?
	How can a game glare at someone?
	I don't know, but I swear that one just did.
	That's nonsense. You're just jealous.
	...What?
	Don't you dare!
	Well, you seemed to think it was such a good idea before.
	Yeah, used on you! You're the mage!
	Which is what makes using it on me such a bad idea. You have any idea how much magical energy running through me there is for a spellshatter to tear apart?
	Well, I suppose I can understand that.
	Now hold still.
	Wait! That doesn't mean I want you to use it on me!
	Come on, it'll barely hurt... even if it kills you, you won't feel a thing.
	Death is a very bad idea!
	Oh, don't be such a baby.
	Come near me and I'll threadsplit you!
	Do your worst.
	Well, you asked for it. THREAD SPLIT!
	Counterspell!
	What the hell? I thought forumancy wasn't magic.
	It's not.
	So how can a counterspell work on it?
	Well, "counterspell" is actually something of a misnomer. It's really a general nullification that works on a wide variety of--
	GUTTER KICK!
	OW! Dude, kicking me in the nuts? That's not cool at all!
	Neither is dying! Catch me if you can!
	*Books it*
	Damn, you didn't have to put me through such abject pain over it...
	*Collapses onto the floor*
	*strolls up*
	*Blink* Just keep walking, Zombie... you don't want to know.
	Did you hear something?
	That time, yes. Some sort of loud yell of pain followed by a thud.
	Er, no, I was referring to the cackling evil laugh.
	What cackling evil laugh?
	Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
	That cackling evil laugh.
	What in the hell was that?
	Oh, crud.
	I thought you were a forum announcement.
	Er, what?
	Yeah, you announced Dorten's arrival.
	Wasn't me. Must've been my cousin.
	How can a logo have a cousin?
	Don't tell me that's an avatar!
	Hee hee. Okay then, I won't tell you. I'll just wiggle my eyebrows suggestively.
	*Eyebrow wiggle*
	That's mildly distracting.
	Forget the eyebrow-wiggling! What are you doing here? And why are you cackling with evil laughter?
	Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
	Yeah, that evil laughter.
	Er, no reason.
	No reason?
	I just felt like cackling.
	What are you doing in our secure Top Secret Project Workshop of Doom(tm)?
	Not very secure, the door was unlocked.
	Again?
	Sorry, sorry.
	This had better be the last time.
	I swear, I just got distract-- hey, where'd it go?
	Where'd wha-- oh, darn it. That little logo-that-isn't-a-logo's run off!
	This can't be good.
	*Suddenly shuts down*
	Definitely can't be good.
THE END?	Most certainly to be continued.